Miscoated

06Oct09

Monday, October, Stockholm:

The rain cannot possibly be said to be falling, since it is actually AIMING at us. Hurling is a much better word for it. The world is grey, and wet with it. The only discernible warmth is hissing, in the form of steam, from the McDonald’s ventilation outlet. And the only discernible colour is the sticky slimy slick brown of leaves rotting in the gutter.

We hurry into the crowded department store. Oblivious to the reek of cheap perfume, insensible to ugly shoes, and fat ladies toting children, made it seems, entirely from snot, I elbow my way to my Holy Grail, Better Man in tow.

There it hangs, in splendour. It is bright red, and sleekly cut. It has a collar that could be turned up, were it mine, just so against the wind. It has breadth enough for my bottom, and pockets in which I vow never to jumble lumpy clumpy bits of paper and old matchboxes. It is Audrey Hepburn, and Mary Poppins, and a Toreador, and a Princess, and a Cherry Pie – all rolled into One Perfect Coat.

Yes, I know what the price-tag says. I balked at first, but have returned every day for a week to gawp, and now I am ready to take the plunge. As I slip my wet wool cardigan of my shoulders, and my shoulders into its silken inner casing, I feel my eyes grow brighter, and my back straighten (and my boobs grow and my hair lengthen). I turn with a secretive, alluring smile to the Better Man, brought along officially to advice, but secretly to be dazzled.
And he looks. And he speaks. And he says:

“Meh, I wouldn’t. It makes you look sort of pregnant.”

Tuesday, October, Stockholm:

 I have stolen his favourite sweater. I plan to wear it non-stop, and grinding the elbows against my desk, until he buys me something twice as beautiful and trice as expensive. And chocolates too.

And Hadley Freemans take:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/05/high-street-fashion-hadley-freeman

Filed under: Dress Your Self: Sartorial Conundrums   |  Leave a Comment
Tags: boyfriend sweater, Hadley Freeman, Red coat